Who would you be without your opinions, without your judgments? Without the daily assortment of THIS IS GOOD, THIS IS BAD… I would never do that. Can you believe she did that? She is good. She is bad. This is nuts. This is sanity.
The Trap of Opinions and Judgments
We spend our lives and an exorbitant amount of energy categorizing everything. It’s as if we don’t know what we think about something; we can’t move on. And yet, ironically, by constantly putting our entire lives into tiny boxes with labels, we never move on. We never know what we think or feel about something at this moment. We never see the world with fresh eyes and are bound by our opinions, which were created in the past.
Arguing Without Investment
More than that, we fall into the trap of attempting to prove to others that our opinions are valid and right. Often, we find ourselves trying to convince others that we are right and they are wrong. Have you ever found yourself in an argument about something and then realized that you honestly don’t even care about the subject or even have a strong opinion about it, yet moments before, you were arguing adamantly?
This is what we do: we fiercely hold onto our opinions as if they were literally part of our being. We will hold onto them to the death, even when they really don’t serve us anymore, represent who we have become, or we really don’t even care.
So it’s clear that arguing about a subject you aren’t invested in is a waste of time, but what if defending any point of view is a waste of time? When we get down to it – Who cares? Why do we need others to agree with us? Why do we feel the need to be deemed “right?”
The Illusion of Control
The truth is that being right is a state of being that is impossible to maintain. It’s a position of power. You may be the King on top of the hill, but you always fear being tossed off. There is no peace when we are afraid and trying to maintain control. Trying to control what we think and what others think is a losing battle. You can have peace OR control – not both. (I would argue that it is just the illusion of control anyway..)
The Impermanence of Opinions
We have to be willing to let our opinions go. They do have an essence of us in them, but is it the “US” we are today, or the “US” we were 10 years ago? We ebb and change anyway. Our thoughts and opinions do, too. They aren’t permanent. Nothing is permanent. And if we allow them to flow through us without latching on like they are our lifeboats, we may uncover a new way of seeing the world in every moment.
Focusing on Our Own Journey
And who cares what anyone else thinks? That is their journey. That is their heaven or hell. It is not our job to change the minds of others. It is our job to allow our minds to change.