For many of us, the current state of the world feels nothing short of devastating. It’s hard to open the news without encountering another act of cruelty, injustice, or tragedy. To truly wrap your mind around it all is, in many ways, to break your own heart.
When things feel like they’re unraveling by the hour, we’re faced with a difficult and deeply personal choice:
Do we harden or soften our hearts?
In the face of violence, chaos, and what can only be described as global heartbreak, how do we stay connected? How do we show up—for ourselves, for each other, and for the world—without collapsing under the weight of it all?
These moments can leave us overwhelmed, outraged, and very, very alone.
Why I Turn to Tonglen When the News Feels Too Heavy
When the world feels too heavy to bear, I return to a practice that has carried me through some of the darkest nights: Tonglen meditation—a Tibetan Buddhist practice of “sending and taking,” as taught by Pema Chödrön.
Tonglen teaches us to breathe in suffering and breathe out relief, love, and healing. At first, it might seem counterintuitive—to breathe in the pain? But it’s not about self-sacrifice. It’s about connection. About remembering that we’re not alone in our grief or our fear. That others are struggling too. And that in recognizing this, we access our most powerful tool: compassion.
When I feel overwhelmed, I’ll often do Tonglen for others who are feeling the exact same way. I imagine them—curled on their couches, staring at their phones, gripping their hearts—and I breathe in our collective sorrow. Then, I breathe out strength, comfort, and a sense of steadiness. I imagine that breath reaching them like a soft balm. And in doing this, I feel my community. I feel my strength.
This ancient practice gently taps us back into our humanity, our resiliency, and the deep interconnectedness we sometimes forget we belong to.
How to Practice Tonglen
1. Settle the body.
Find a quiet place. Sit or lie down comfortably. Feel your body supported by the ground beneath you.
2. Notice the breath.
There’s no need to change anything. Just observe the natural rhythm of your breath.
3. Begin simply.
Start with a general intention:
Breathe in suffering, breathe out relief.
Breathe in pain, breathe out comfort.
Breathe in fear, breathe out love.
4. Connect with your own feelings.
Now, focus inward. Tune into your fear, anxiety, overwhelm, or heartbreak.
Let yourself feel it. You don’t need to fix or analyze. Just witness.
5. Expand to others.
Now, imagine others who feel exactly as you do—your friends, your neighbors, and people around the globe.
Feel that connection. This is our shared humanity. Feel compassion for all of you who feel this way.
Breathe in all of that shared suffering.
Breathe out peace, courage, and ease to anyone who needs it—including you.
6. Keep it manageable.
You don’t have to save the world in one breath. Start small.
Send compassion to someone you love.
Then, maybe, to someone you don’t know.
Let your circle of compassion widen gently, without force.
Tonglen for Community, Compassion, and Connection
Tonglen doesn’t erase suffering. But it transforms our relationship to it.
It reminds us that compassion is not a finite resource—and neither is love.
It’s a quiet act of rebellion in a world that wants us to shut down.
It’s a way to stay open, even when it hurts.
And maybe, just maybe, it’s how we keep each other going.e keep each other going.
Let’s Stay Connected!
If this resonates, I’d love to hear from you. Have you ever tried Tonglen? How do you stay soft when everything feels like too much?
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Want more tools like this? Check out my post: Coping with Uncertainty
